ok heres the jist of things. when i was 16- my mother opened a credit card in my name with my knowledge- it had a 500 dollar limit and within 6 months i ran it up to the limit- then i opened another one with a 3000 dollar limit and i spent about 1500 dollars on it and then my mom spent about 1800 dollars on it putting it 200 dollars over the limit. she said she was using it to pay her bills but then she would pay it on time to improve my credit. those are the only credit cards i ever approved of. since then she has opened 2-3 other credit cards without my knowledge-forging my signature to open them- and has maxed out those credit cards too- for about the past 3 months- all day every day im getting calls from collectors and credit card companies and all kinds places... ive paid off all the money i ran up on those cards and all those cards are still open and active because all this money is owed on them that isnt my doing and i certainly cant afford to pay being a college only working part time. my mom tells me to tell these collectors that they will have money on this date or that date.. well that date comes and the collectors are still calling..she then tells me she spent the money on some other bill or the rent or something else- truth be told she has a horrible gambling addiction- shes an evp of a bank and her take home pay is 4500 every 2 weeks and its usually gone within the first week- and she lives from paycheck to paycheck- like i said she says she opened these things in the first place to improve my credit.. im on social security and i get about 750 a month but she has total control of my check and has had total control of it for the past 4 years that ive had social security- she says that she uses the money every month to pay my bills- i dont have any bills except a cell phone bill.. also this month i had asked for 100 of my ss money and she said she couldnt because she had to use it all for my credit card bills- well that money came on the 3rd and the collectors are still calling..i confront her about it and she said she used it to pay rent- truth be told she probably used it to pay off a marker at a casino. i need to get my mom help...im screwed.. i dont know what to do or who to turn to...i still live with my mother but im afraid that i wont even be able to get a car or an apartment because my credit is too damaged from her doing all this...somebody please offer some helpful advice
Someone please help
November 7th, 2009 at 02:30 am
November 7th, 2009 at 02:58 am 1257562722
Secondly it's wise to start making plans to move out. Do you have friends you can share with? Aunties or uncles or grandparents even?
Your mother needs help but there is unfortunately only so much you can do, the rest is up to her. My own mother is an alcoholic and a gambling addict - so I do understand the frustration and the wanting to help. Get family involved if you can, start talking to people, don't bottle it up. I was so ashamed of my mother I never told anyone what was happening. In the past few years I've started telling people, and being open about it, and I feel much better because it is not all on my shoulders.
I am not sure exactly what you should do with your financial situation - if it were me and I absolutely had to pay off all the debt (ie. if the banks made me pay for it and not the person responsible for it) I would roll it over to a personal loan and cancel the cards, and concentrate on paying it off quick smart. Please make sure that your mother can't use your cards anymore. She needs a wake up call and sadly enough, for some people they need to hit rock bottom before they realise what an idiot they have been.
Good luck.
November 7th, 2009 at 03:35 am 1257564925
November 7th, 2009 at 08:12 am 1257581559
I know that you love your mom, but this looks like a cycle of debt and poverty, and if you want to improve your credit, it would be best to tell your social worker, get the credit cards cancelled, get someone else to be your check payee and assistant in managing your money, and perhaps work on an independent living type of transitional program. You may find such a program at your community college.
Know that these things do not mean that you do not love your mother, but that you need to be independent and not contribute to her negative cycle. It will be hard, but you have to do what is best for you.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:21 am 1257589319
Write a letter to the credit reporting agencies explaining the situations, detailing what debt you actually acknowledge as being yours and which is because Mom stole your identity.
Visit your nearest Social Security Administration office and get the checks going to her stopped.
November 7th, 2009 at 03:34 pm 1257608069
November 7th, 2009 at 04:05 pm 1257609915
November 7th, 2009 at 10:47 pm 1257634031
Please read this story: http://www.creditfyi.com/Identity-Theft/Restoring-Your-Identity/Victim-of-Identity-Theft-7-Calls-to-Make-Now.htm
A story about ID theft among family members: http://www.creditfyi.com/Identity-Theft-Committed-by-Family.htm
Call the credit reporting bureaus (Experian, Equifax and TransUnion) and place a credit FREEZE on your credit account; this will prevent anyone from opening a new account in your name without the credit card company (or other lender) calling you to verify it's ok. There is a small fee for this but it's absolutely essential in your case.
Your credit is going to be severely damaged by what your mother has done, making it difficult or next to impossible for you to obtain a loan, for a home, car, school or anything else, in future years.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:52 pm 1257634356
For more info on how to deal with ID theft, you can also check out the website of the Identity Theft Resource Center. www.idtheftcenter.org